a handy guide to not pissing me off

1)Don't complain about money if
you must have a new car every 2 years, Your closet is full of name brand clothes that you paid full price for, or if your hair and nails cost more than a car note
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2) Dont complain about the cost of diapers if
while shopping for diapers for your child/ren your rubbing you newest baby bump hello lady if diapers are so expensive why are you knocked up again
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3)Don't compare husbands mannest if
If your husband beats you, If said husband doesnt have a job, and if he refuses to do the smallest of things to help make your life easier guess what your husband loses even if at time of contest Daniel is grabbing my purse out of the mini van
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4)Dont comment on how much I shop unless
you pay for it
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5)Do not comment on my cooking if
You cook in a dirty kitchen,or if I'm cooking for your family because you have no food in the house
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6)Do not ask me to watch your kid/s if
You do not make them listen.
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7) Do not ask me for money if
you break any of the rules because buddy I might just laugh in you face
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8)Do not comment on my child's ice cream habit if
your child can not name 3 vegetables and 3 fruits. hell I will accept french fries
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9)Do not comment on the amount I eat out and not cook home cook meals if
You count corndogs as homecooked,you count chicken nuggets fresh out of wal-mart's freezer section as home cooked, or if you dont include a vegetable
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10)Do not comment on the way my child talk (even "potty words")if
your child does not know that please and thank you are the magic words, you choose not to teach mam,sir, mr,and mrs. , and if your child does not know may I have instead of give me.
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11) Dont complain on the mess your child make if
your pregnant, You dont clean-up after yourself, or if you dont make your 45 yr old clean up his own room
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12)Don't complain to me that your husband /boyfriend is a asshole,hits you,or cheats if'
this is the 3rd time,or if he was a asshole before you married him
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13)Don't complain on the amount I read or how much I have my nose in a book if
you have trouble reading off the dollar menu at any given resturant
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The rules may change get shorter,or longer at any given time there are exception to every rule ,but not many