still hanging in there

Since no one reads this I can get all my feeling out in one place. Jaxson is now 14 months old, I should be used to being a mom of 2, but I still feel upset. I love him, I would cut my arm off to save him, but I miss it being just me and Ally. She is now 6, she's super independent. Jaxson has needs and wants that only I can fulfill, from day one it's been a headache. It started with my horrible pregnancy, him coming early, reflux, astma, then countless ear infections that resulted in tubes. He was 12 months before we had a normal check up. Do I feel guilty about typing this, YES!!! Would I utter a word of this to anyone NO!!! Do I feel better for post this into cyberland OMG YES!!!!
Now I will slip becak into this mommy to a toddler role I was threw into kicking and screamimg.